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Tuesday, September 15, 2020

AGE ACTIVATED ATTENTION DEFICIT DISORDER.

 What is A.A.A.D.D.  ? It is              

Age Activated Attention Deficit Disorder. 


This is how it manifests:


I decide to water my garden.

As I turn on the hose in the driveway,

I look over at my car and decide it needs washing. 


As I start toward the garage,

I notice mail on the porch table that

I brought up from the mail box earlier.


I decide to go through the mail before I wash the car. 


I lay my car keys on the table,

put the junk mail in the garbage can under the table,

and notice that the can is full. 


So, I decide to put the bills back

on the table and take out the garbage first.

But then I think,

since I'm going to be near the mailbox

when I take out the garbage anyway,

I may as well pay the bills first.


I take my check book off the table,

and see that there is only one check left.


My extra checks are in my desk in the study,

so I go inside the house to my desk where

I find the can of Coke I'd been drinking. 


I'm going to look for my checks,

but first I need to push the Coke aside

so that I don't accidentally knock it over.


The Coke is getting warm,

and I decide to put it in the refrigerator to keep it cold.


As I head toward the kitchen with the Coke,

a vase of flowers on the counter

catches my eye--they need water.


I put the Coke on the counter and

discover my reading glasses that

I've been searching for all morning.


I decide I better put them back on my desk,

but first I'm going to water the flowers.


I set the glasses back down on the counter,

fill a container with water and suddenly spot the TV remote.

Someone left it on the kitchen table.


I realize that tonight when we go to watch TV,

I'll be looking for the remote,

but I won't remember that it's on the kitchen table,

so I decide to put it back in the den where it belongs,

but first I'll water the flowers.


I pour some water in the flowers,

but quite a bit of it spills on the floor.


So, I set the remote back on the table,

get some towels and wipe up the spill.


Then, I head down the hall trying to

remember what I was planning to do. 


At the end of the day:


the car isn't washed


the bills aren't paid


there is a warm can of Coke sitting on the counter


the flowers don't have enough water,


there is still only 1 check in my check book,


I can't find the remote,


I can't find my glasses,


and I don't remember what I did with the car keys.


Then, when I try to figure out why nothing got done today,

I'm really baffled because I know I was busy all day,

and I'm really tired.


I realize this is a serious problem,

and I'll try to get some help for it,

but first I'll check my e-mail....


Do me a favor.

Forward this message to everyone you know,

because I don't remember who I've sent it to.

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