Who is Frank Feldman????

A man walks out to the street and catches a cab just going by. He gets into the taxi and the cabbie says, " Perfect timing. You're just like Frank."

Passenger: 'Who?'

Cabbie: "Frank Feldman. He's a guy who did everything right all the time.Like my coming along when you needed a cab, things happened like that to Frank Feldman every single time."

Passenger: "There are always a few clouds over everybody."

Cabbie: "Not Frank. He was a terrific athlete. He could have won the Grand Slam at tennis. He could golf with the pros. He sang like an opera baritone and danced like a Broadway star; and you should have heard him play the piano. He was an amazing guy."

Passenger: "Sounds like he was something really special."

Cabbie: "There is more... He had a memory like a computer. He remembered everybody's birthday. He knew all about wine, which foods to order and which fork to eat them with. He could fix anything. Not like me. I change a fuse, and the whole street blacks out. But Frank, he could do everything right."

Passenger: "Wow, some guy then."

Cabbie: "He always knew the quickest way to go in traffic and avoid traffic jams. Not like me, I always seem to get stuck in them. But Frank, he never made a mistake, and he really knew how to treat a woman and make her feel good. He would never answer her back even if she was in the wrong; and his clothing was always immaculate, shoes highly polished too. He was the perfect man! He never made a mistake. No one could ever measure up to Frank Feldman."

Passenger: "An amazing fellow. How did you meet him?"

Cabbie: "Well, I never actually met Frank. He died. I am married to his fuckin' widow."

Dedicated Student Nurse.

A male patient is lying in bed in the hospital, wearing an oxygen mask over his mouth and nose, still heavily sedated from a difficult four hour surgical procedure.

A young, student nurse appears to give him a partial sponge bath.

"Nurse", she hears him mumble from behind the mask. "Are my testicles black?"

Embarrassed, the young nurse replies, "I don't know, Sir. I'm only here to wash your upper body and feet."

He struggles to ask, and again she hears, "Nurse, are my testicles black?"

Concerned that he may elevate his vitals from worry about his testicles, she overcomes her embarrassment and sheepishly pulls back the covers. She raises his gown, holds his penis in one hand and his testicles in the other, lifting and moving them around.

Then, she takes a close look and says, "There's nothing wrong with them, Sir!!"

The man pulls off his oxygen mask, smiles at her and says very slowly, "Thank you very much. That was wonderful. I do like the way you think, but first, listen very, very closely…

 

"A r e – m y – t e s t – r e s u l t s – b a c k?"

GOD - Amazing Truth.

An atheist professor of philosophy speaks to his class on the problem science has with God, The Almighty.
He asks one of his new students to stand and.....

Prof:‘So you believe in God?’

Student:
‘Absolutely, sir. ‘

Prof:
Is God good?

Student:Sure.

Prof:
Is God all-powerful?

Student:
Yes.

Prof:
My brother died of cancer even though he prayed to God to heal him.
Most of us would attempt to help others who are ill. But God didn't. How is this God good then? Hmm?

(Student is
silent.)

Prof:
You can't answer, can you? Let's start again, young fella. Is God good?

Student:
Yes.

Prof:
Is Satan good?

Student:
No.

Prof:
Where does Satan come from?

Student:
From...God...

Prof:
That's right. Tell me son, is there evil in this world?

Student:Yes.

Prof:
Evil is everywhere, isn't it? And God did make everything. Correct?

Student:
Yes.

Prof:So who created evil?

(Student does not answer.)

Prof:
Is there sickness?
Immorality? Hatred? Ugliness? All these terrible things exist in the world, don't they?

Student:
Yes, sir.

Prof:
So, who created them?

(Student has no answer.)

Prof:
Science says you have 5 senses you use to identify and observe the world around you. Tell me, son...Have you ever seen God?

Student:No, sir.

Prof:
Tell us if you have ever heard your God?

Student:
No, sir.

Prof:
Have you ever felt your God, tasted your God, smelt your God? Have you ever had any sensory perception of God for that matter?

Student:
No, sir. I'm afraid I haven't.

Prof:Yet you
still believe in Him?

Student:
Yes.

Prof:
According to empirical, testable, demonstrable protocol, science says your GOD doesn't exist. What do you say to that, son?

Student:
Nothing. I only have my faith.

Prof:Yes. Faith. And that is the problem science has.

Student:
Professor, is there such a thing as heat?

Prof:
Yes.

Student:
And is there such a thing as cold?

Prof:Yes.

Student:
No sir. There isn't.
(The lecture theatre becomes very quiet with this turn of events.)

Student:Sir, you can have lots of heat, even more heat,
superheat, mega heat, white heat, a little heat or no heat. But we don't have anything called cold. We can hit 458 degrees below zero which is no heat, but we can't go any further after that.
There is no such thing as cold. Cold is only a word we use to describe the absence of heat.
We cannot measure cold. Heat is energy. Cold is not the opposite of heat, sir, just the absence of it .
(There is pin-drop silence in the lecture theatre.)

Student:
What about darkness, Professor? Is there such a thing as darkness?

Prof:
Yes. What is night if there isn't darkness?

Student:
You're wrong again, sir. Darkness is the absence of something. You can have low light, normal light, bright light, flashing light....But if you have no light constantly, you have nothing and it's called darkness, isn't it? In reality,
darkness isn't. If it were you would be able to make darkness darker, wouldn't you?

Prof:
So what is the point you are making, young man?

Student:
Sir, my point is your philosophical premise is flawed.

Prof:
Flawed? Can you explain how?

Student:
Sir, you are working on the premise of duality. You argue there is life and then there is death, a good God and a bad God. You are viewing the concept of God as something finite, something we can measure. Sir, science can't even explain a thought. It uses electricity and magnetism, but has never seen, much less fully understood either one.To view death as the opposite of life is to be ignorant of the fact that death cannot exist as a substantive thing. Death is not the opposite of life: just the absence of it.

Now tell me, Professor.Do
you teach your students that they evolved from a monkey?

Prof:
If you are referring to the natural evolutionary process, yes, of course, I do.

Student:
Have you ever observed evolution with your own eyes, sir?
(The Professor shakes his head with a smile, beginning to realize where the argument is going.)

Student:
Since no one has ever observed the process of evolution at work and cannot even prove that this process is an on-going endeavor, are you not teaching your opinion, sir? Are you not a scientist but a preacher? (The class is in uproar.)

Student:
Is there anyone in the class who has ever seen the Professor's brain? (The class breaks out into laughter.)

Student:
Is there anyone here who has ever heard the Professor's brain, felt it,
touched or smelt it? No one appears to have done so. So, according to the established rules of empirical, stable, demonstrable protocol, science says that you have no brain,sir. With all due respect, sir, how do we then trust your lectures, sir? (The room is silent. The professor stares at the student, his face unfathomable.)

Prof:I guess you'll have to take them on faith, son.

Student:That is it sir... The link between man & god is FAITH . That is all that keeps things moving & alive.

This is a true story, and the student was none other than.........

APJ Abdul Kalam ,

The former President of India

Law of the seeds.

Take a look at an apple tree. There might be five hundred apples on the tree, but each apple has just ten seeds. That's a lot of seeds! We might ask, "Why would you need so many seeds to grow just a few more apple trees?" Nature has something to teach us here. It's telling us that not all seeds grow. In life, most seeds never grow. So if you really want to make something happen, you had better try more than once.

This might mean:

• You'll attend twenty interviews to get one job.

• You'll interview forty people to find one good employee.

• You'll talk to fifty people to sell one house, one car, one vacuum cleaner, one insurance policy, or a business idea.

• You might meet a hundred acquaintances just to find one special friend.

When we understand the "Law of the Seed", we don't get so disappointed. We stop feeling like victims. We learn how to deal with things that happen to us. Laws of nature are not things to take personally. We just need to understand them - and work with them.

In A Nutshell: Successful people fail more often. But they plant more seeds.

When Things Are Beyond your control, here's something that you must NOT DO so as to be happy: You must not decide how you think the world should be. You must not make rules for how everyone should behave. Many times, such thoughts can bring you spiralling down into more unhappiness.

On the other hand, let's say you expect that:

• Friends should return favours.

• People should appreciate you.

• Planes should arrive on time.

• Everyone should be honest.

• Your husband or best friend should remember your birthday.

These expectations may sound reasonable. But often, these things won't happen! So you end up frustrated and disappointed. There's a better strategy. Demand less, and instead, have preferences! For things that are beyond your control, tell yourself: "I would prefer this, but if that happens, it's OK too!" You prefer that people are polite but when they are rude, it doesn't ruin your day. You prefer sunshine but if it rains, it is ok too! To become happier, we either need to Change the world, or Change our thinking. It is easier to change our thinking!

In A Nutshell: It is not the problem that is the issue, but rather it is your attitude attending to the problem that is the problem. It's not what happens to you that determine your happiness but rather how you think about what happens to you!

What is Friendship?

This is an article which I had wanted to write over the past few weeks, but due to lack of time and moods was not able to. Any similarity to the contents of this article to any of the individual’s lives and memories is purely co-incidental and be assured that the same is not stalked out from your personal diaries

 

WHAT IS FRIENDSHIP?

 

The word Friends takes us back to the days behind we have traversed across till now, at times even taking us back to our child hood days wherein we first would have ever made a friend or called some one our friend, but where are these friends now, for as you take a moment to ponder over how much you are in touch with any of your friends you would find that you are hardly in touch with anyone.

 

It is a surprise, is it not, as to whom we used to call as our friends, and whom we were happy to spend our time with are the ones we do not have to time to be in touch with. What could be the reason behind such change of scenario? Is it that you are not friends any more with them or anything else? The reasons are a list of few which could possibly be why you are not in touch with them or in dispute with them now as compared to your earlier times

 

 

ü      COMMITMENT

 

The primary reason why you are not in touch with your friends anymore is due to the lack of commitment, it can be lacking from either of you, you may be committed, but your friend might not be so committed towards your friendship, or vice versa. In that situation do you reduce your commitment or keep yourself committed to your friendship. In cases of commitment, it has to be there irrespective of the other person responding or not in the same manner, for it is found that the level of commitment you keep in a relationship, the life and consistency of that relationship is inter dependent to it, so more / lesser the commitment, the more / lesser the life / consistency of the relationship. I have faced many times these kind of friends who call me friends only on their lips not from their heart.

 

ü      ENVIRONMENT

 

The second possible reason could be the place you are in. You may be in your school, college or workplace, you tend to make friends every where, but when you change your environment, i.e. shift from school to college, college to workplace, company to company, you tend to make new friends and it is matter of time before you realize that you and your friends lose touch, and you become a museum stuff to each other for you also rhyme like the fairy tale lines “Once upon a time I had a friend”. It is in friendship alone we adopt the old age proverb very seriously where it is said “Forget the past, don’t worry over the future, but live in the present”, so we are friendly and in touch with only the ones we are currently meeting and interacting with and tend to forget the ones we used to know, but is it not right that you carry on and leave your friends behind. This is the friendship we need to be more careful of getting committed to and knowing the thin line of difference between the genuine friendship and more popular practical / suitable friendship which is made only to suit our studying / working environments. I know this is really very tough to follow and in spite of my best efforts in being touch with all of my friends across various stages of my life, while writing this article I have noticed that I myself have been guilty of this as I find myself too stretched out to keep in touch with all network of my friends across various stages of my life.

 

ü      EGO

 

This is possibly the major and dangerous cause for the fall of friends with each other for Ego is something which only breeds hatred, anger and jealousy, so there is no room for love, care and affection which is the foundation for friendship. Ego in any relationship is bad, thus making it all the more difficult for friends to come close to each other and see eye to eye. At times for minor issues due to ego the issue is blown out of proportion and friends become foes, or the questions comes when he / she is not in touch or he / she is not calling first why should I, so forget it and just value your friends and their friendship than valuing anything else though here you may note the difference between friends who are genuinely unable to be in touch with you and the friends who don’t want to be in touch with you for the subsequent below reasons. Hence if you are not having friends or lost friends who were close to you, you need to ask yourself “Are you an egoistic person?” and if the answer is yes, then you need to change yourself rather trying to change the world. In my schooling and my early college days I have myself lost many of my good friends due to ego issues though across time I may call myself to be more matured towards getting ego issues with my friends (Hope my friends too feel the same about me).

 

ü      TAKEN FOR GRANTED

 

At times you find that people who call you friends are actually taking you for granted, you may be wondering what could this mean, it means that they are not concerned, worried about your emotions, feelings or what you think, they know irrespective of what they do or how they behave you will be their friends, or take you for granted to be their friends. It is also obvious that when you complaint their reaction would only be “Hey buddy, what yaar, I thought you understood me well, are we not good friends to feel bad about this or that” and give some lame excuse for their lapse in responding to your view of friendship. They just expect you to do good for them, care about them, etc. and they are not concerned / care to reciprocate your gesture of love, care and affection. It is not that friendship is about expecting things but at least being concerned about your feelings and not being untouched by your exhibit of friendship for that individual and when you need them they just vanish or cease to exist.

 

ü      WITH A PURPOSE

 

These are friends who are friends with you for a purpose. They are not keen or interested in being your friends, but once their purpose is over, they just forget who are you, or they ever even knew you. They are the more materialistic friends whom you find in today’s so called practical world a plenty, they are found near your house, workplace, etc. They maybe your casual acquaintances, your colleagues, etc. who call you friends though they don’t mean it even an iota of the letter “F” in the word “FRIENDS”, these are the ones you need to be more careful of, for they cause you more hurt than any other type of friends, for in order to achieve their purpose, they talk so cosy and so concerned or close that you actually get deceived by them to be your BEST FRIENDS and vanish once the purpose is over at the speed at which they became your friends. I have met such people endless times and in spite of me being able to come to a level to identify them from the distinct ones, I am still at the infancy stage of identification for they are so well disguised.

 

ü      COMMUNICATION

 

The last and final reason for fall of friendship is lack of communication, for it has been from ages we have known that all relationships collapse due to lack of communication, and it is only with friends you are what you are actually internally without any makeup / formalities and speak your heart out, but when there is a dispute we tend to hesitate to speak fearing what your friend might think. If you have friends with whom you feel so, then you need to reconsider your commitment towards that friend or friendship, for where you have to use your brain instead of your heart that would be a practical or worldly relationship and relationships are made, carried out and maintained through your heart, and when there is an issue with any of your friend you need to speak your heart out, and if you are not able to or your friend is not able to hear your heart out, then there is a lack of communication and hence would bring about the end of friendship

 

If there are so many reasons for fall of friendship, how is it that when we see in movies the sacrifices and the help rendered out by friends to each other we get emotionally touched by them for we also expect that how we could wish to have a friend like this, as it is always said that A FRIEND IN NEED IS A FRIEND INDEED, but to get a good friend do we not need to be a good friend first, for can we grow roses out of weeds or sweet grapes out of bitter gourd plants, so what we would sow would we reap, hence a word of advise from a student of friendship is that you should make or rather be friends beyond expectations, gender, caste, creed, status and ensure you be in touch with all your friends.

The Yoga Way of Life - Swami Satchidananada.

“The people who want acquire the yogic ideals have already experienced the misery of the world, the worry and anxiety of the world, and they feel that they cannot continue in that way. So, they try to adapt themselves to the yogic way of life. As long as a person is interested in the worldly life and fulfilling desires, he or she won’t even turn toward Yoga. Yoga asks you to be more content, without anxieties and worries, and to not be selfish. You just do everything for the sake of others. Even your own office, your daily work, is a part of the whole.

“God bless you. Om Shanthi, Shanthi, Shanthi.”

See Yourself

“How do you know that you are the image of God? Only by seeing your Self. The mind is ready to show you your true nature, when the mind is stilled and peaceful. But you are trying to keep the mind quiet by talking about it. Are you quiet, if you say, ‘I want to be quiet?’ It’s almost like talking while trying to fall asleep: ‘I want to sleep.’ When would you sleep? Even the wanting to sleep slips away from your mind, when you are quietly preparing to sleep. That means, don’t do anything to disturb your mind. Is it possible not to do anything? Your stomach will cry for food. Your eyes will want to see things. So what can you do? Become the witness.

“God bless you. Om Shanthi, Shanthi, Shanthi.”

Understand the World - Satchithananda Swami.

“When we understand the ups and downs of the world in the proper way, we will see that it’s up to us to understand this and raise above it all. Then, you can ride over the waves and enjoy them. You will say, ‘Oh, these waves are the nature of the world; they will not attack me.’ That is the knowledge we want. Then, you won’t get upset over anything. Otherwise, what is the purpose of all this Yoga to balance the mind? When everything is balanced already, why should you balance yourself? When you understand that pain and pleasure are two sides of one coin, then you understand them in the right light and no longer suffer. So it is up to us to raise ourselves above the ups and downs.” 

“God bless you. Om Shanthi, Shanthi, Shanthi.”

Know Your Self - Swami Satchithananada.

“Imagine, you say, ‘My mind is totally upset today. Yesterday I was all peaceful, happy. Today, I am disturbed.’ What is the common thing behind these statements? The common factor is that you know. You know that you are disturbed; you know you are not disturbed. The true you is that which knows everything, while the superficial you, is the mind. Although your mind is disturbed in some way today, the knower of your mind is not disturbed. Your mind was happy yesterday, and now, today, your mind is not happy. When you say your mind, then who are you? You might say, ‘I am my body, my mind, my intelligence, my ego.’ Of course you seem to have those things. But, who are you in reality? Find out the answer. That is what you call, ‘knowing your Self.’

“God bless you. Om Shanthi, Shanthi, Shanthi.”

Have You Seen God?

“One Hindu scripture goes to the extent of saying that if, by any chance, a person says, ‘I have seen God,’ you can be sure that he or she has not seen God. The idea is that it is the intelligence, or the mind, that says, ‘I have seen God.’ In reality, the mind can never see God. It is only when the mind ceases to be that God is experienced. So if the mind says, ‘I have seen God,’ this is an utter falsehood. In fact, in everybody there is a divine element, or the godly personality within. It is the mind that, more or less, hides it from understanding its own self. So when the mind ceases to function, one realizes himself or herself to be that.

“God bless you. Om Shanthi, Shanthi, Shanthi.”