WAIT FOR YOUR MEAL.

 

I walked into a hotel and after going the menu, I ordered some food. After about 20 minutes, a group of guys and ladies walked in & ordered theirs.

To my dismay, these folks got served first. I watched as they began to eat & laugh heartily. I even overhead one of them bragging about how he's connected to everyone in the hotel and I felt mocked. I decided to leave. Unable to take it anymore, I called the waiter.

He calmly told me : " yours is a special order, being prepared by the chief chef himself. Their orders were prepared hurriedly by students on attachment because the top chefs are busy with yours. That's why they were served first. Please have some juice as you wait". I calmed down & waited patiently.

Shortly after, my meal was served by 6 waiters. Unknown to me, the owner of the hotel (who happened to be an old long lost friend of mine) saw me when I entered and decided to surprise me. She changed my simple meal to a five-star meal. The party at the other table were shocked. They couldn't stop staring . Suddenly they were the ones murmuring, asking why they didn't get that kind of service and meal. 

Such is life ! Some people are ahead of you and are eating now, laughing at you and talking about how they are smarter, wiser and better than you, how they are well connected , blessed, have money and are enjoying life.

You are waiting tirelessly wondering why its taking so long to breakthrough, You endure mockery and humiliation. May be you've contemplated suicide, gone through depression or suffered severe mental anxiety. Don't ever worry !

The Owner of the World has seen you & doesn't want you to be served a simple meal like those making a mockery of you.

You are waiting long because yours is a special meal. It takes time to prepare. And only chief chefs prepare them. 

Wait for your meal and relax. 

Stay blessed enjoy your day ! 

- Author unknown 🌹🌹🌹

WISDOM & ARROGANCE OF OLD AGE

 The Arrogance of Old Age

 

During the summer a senior citizen bought two six packs of beer that was on sale and placed them on the front seat of the car and headed back home.

 

He stopped at a service station where a drop-dead gorgeous, almost blonde, was filling up her car at the next pump.

 

It was very warm and she was wearing tight shorts and a light top which was wide open.

 

She glanced at the beer, bent over and knocked on his passenger window.

 

With her bra-less breasts almost falling out of her skimpy top she said, in a sexy voice, “I'm a big believer in barter, old fellow, would you be interested in trading  sex for beer?"

 

Our friend thought for a few seconds and asked, “What kind of beer you got?"

 

“THAT IS The WISDOM & ARROGANCE OF OLD AGE”

MEDICAL PROFESSION

This is copied from one one of my patient's posts. Totally apt for the medical profession of today.

Hence, sharing.

A customer asked me how much for 2 days wedding photography package 

𝗠𝗲: Rs 60,000 approximately ($800) 

𝗖𝘂𝘀𝘁𝗼𝗺𝗲𝗿: Why is it too expensive? all i need is an album and a video

𝗠𝗲: How much do you think it would cost you?

𝗖𝘂𝘀𝘁𝗼𝗺𝗲𝗿: Rs 7500/- ($100) maximum... It's just easy, right?! all you have to do is take  some pictures .

𝗠𝗲: hmm okay, maybe you can do it yourself.

𝗖𝘂𝘀𝘁𝗼𝗺𝗲𝗿: but I don't know how...

𝗠𝗲: For Rs 7500  ($100) I'll teach you, with that, you can save Rs 52000 approximately ($700) You'll get the knowledge that you'll need. 

𝗖𝘂𝘀𝘁𝗼𝗺𝗲𝗿: Okay, I'm fine with that. 

𝗠𝗲: But to get started: We need some things first:

a professional DSLR ( 180000) ($2400) 

DSLR lens  ( 120000 ) ($1600)

light setup ( 30000 +) ($400)

other camera accessories ( 15000 ) ($200)

𝗖𝘂𝘀𝘁𝗼𝗺𝗲𝗿: Oh my. But I don't have all these photography equipments . Do I need to buy all of that? I just only need 1 wedding album n a video 

𝗠𝗲: ohh!! sorry i totally forgot about videography equipments .. those things will cost you extra 

𝗖𝘂𝘀𝘁𝗼𝗺𝗲𝗿: Really? what?...

When you pay for a job, you pay not only for the work materials, but also:

- Knowledge

- Experience

- Study

- Tools

- Services

- Time to go

- punctuality

- Accountability

- Accuracy

- Guaranteed

- Sacrifices

- Safety and security

No one can denigrate other people's work by judging prices.

Only by knowing all the elements necessary for the production of a certain work can you estimate the actual cost.

EXCELLENT MESSAGE

A bus full of passengers was traveling while. suddenly the weather changed and there was a huge downpour and lightening all around.

They could see that the lightening would appear to come towards the bus and then go elsewhere.

After 2 or 3 horrible instances of being saved from lightening, the driver stopped the bus about fifty feet away from a tree and said -

"We have somebody in the bus whose death is a certainty today."

Because of that person everybody else will also get killed today.

Now listen carefully what I am saying ..

I want each person to come out of bus one by one and touch the tree trunk and come back.

Whom so ever death is certain will get caught up by the lightening and will die & everybody else will be saved".

They had to force the 1st person to go and touch the tree and come back.

He reluctantly got down from the bus and went and touched the tree.

His heart leaped with joy when nothing happened and he was still alive.

This continued for rest of the passengers who were all relieved when they touched the tree and nothing happened.

When the last passenger's turn came, everybody looked at him with accusing eyes.

That passenger was very afraid and reluctant since he was the only one left.

Everybody forced him to get down and go and touch the tree.

With a 100% fear of death in mind, the last passenger walked to the tree and touched it.

There was a huge sound of thunder and the lightening came down and hit the bus - yes the lightening hit the bus, and killed each and every passenger inside the bus.

It was because of the presence of this last passenger that, earlier,the entire bus was safe and the lightening could not strike the bus.

LIFE LEARNING from this..

At times, we try to take credit for our present achievements, but this could also be because of a person right next to us.

Look around you - Probably someone is there around you, in the form of Your Parents, Your Spouse, Your Children, Your Siblings, Your friends, etc, who are saving you from harm..!

Think About it..

You will surely find that Person..!!

Beautiful Lines 

    

    ''Alone I can 'Say' but 

    together we can 'talk'.

 

    'Alone I can 'Enjoy' but 

     together we can 

    'Celebrate'. 

    

    'Alone I can 'Smile' but 

    together we can 'Laugh'.

    That's the BEAUTY of 

    Human Relations. 

    We are nothing without 

    each other.... !!!

GRANDMA

"Amma, I am going to the Mall along with my wife and daughter.  Please take care of the house."

"OK son.  You go ahead.  Already my legs are aching.  I am not interested in coming to the mall. You go ahead."

"Grandma, you should also come" insisted the grand daughter ...

"Grandma cannot climb all those steps in the mall.  She does not know how to use the escalator.  As there are no temples there, Grandma will not be interested. She is interested only in going to temples," said the daughter in law.

Though Grandma nodded in agreement the grand daughter was adamant. She refused to come to the mall if Grandma was not coming.  Though Grandma repeated that she was not interested, she could not stand her ground against her dear ten year old granddaughter.  She agreed to accompany them.

The granddaughter was very happy.  Father asked everyone to get dressed up.  Before her parents could get ready, the oldest and the youngest were ready.  The youngster took her grandma to the front room. She drew two parallel lines, a foot apart. She told her grandmother that it was a game and the old lady had to pretend that she was a crane (the bird).

She had to keep one leg within the lines and raise the other leg by three inches.  

" What is this my dear?"  asked Grandma...

" This is the Crane game Grandma.  I will show you how to play."                              

Both of them played a few times before the father could bring the car....Grandma became adept in the game.

They reached the mall and when they reached the escalator, the father and mother were wondering how the elderly lady would master that. The granddaughter took Grandma near the escalator and asked her to play the Crane game.  Grandma raised her right foot and kept it on one of the moving steps and raised her left leg by three inches and could easily reach the next moving step. This way, she effortlessly used the escalator to reach the higher level, to the wonder of her son and daughter in law.  With her successful debut, Grandma and the grand daughter moved up and down several times on the escalator and were enjoying the fun.  

They then went to the theatre to see a movie.  As it was cold inside, granddaughter took out a shawl from her bag and covered the old lady, with a mischievous smile.  She had come prepared for this!  After the movie, they went to a restaurant.  When the son asked his mother what to order, his daughter took away the menu and thrust it in the hands of Grandma.     

"You know how to read; better go through the menu and order whatever you want."  Grandma decided the items to be eaten. 

Before leaving for home, Grandma went to use the toilet.  Using that occasion, the father asked his daughter how she knew so much about his mother which as a son, he was not aware of.

Prompt came the response: "Dad, when a young child is brought out of the home, you make so many preparations  - milk bottles, diapers, wipes etc. Your  mother would have done all these things for you.  Why not show the same consideration for your mother? Why did you presume that the elderly would be interested only in temples.  They also have normal desires like going out and enjoying all the fun. Since they do not openly express it, we have to coax them to speak up."

The father was speechless. However he was happy to learn a new lesson from his ten year old daughter...

HARI OM

 

Murugan, the proprietor of a coffee shop had been busy all day. Being Saturday, his shop was very crowded and the customers seemed unending. 

He had been on his toes since morning. Towards the evening he felt a splitting headache surfacing. 

As the clock ticked away, his headache worsened. 

Unable to bear it, he stepped out of the shop leaving his staff to look after the sales. 

He walked across the street to the Pharmacy to buy himself a painkiller to relieve his headache. 

He swallowed the pill and felt relieved. He knew that in a few minutes he would feel better. 

As he strolled out of the shop, he casually asked the salesgirl, "Where is Mr. Gopalan, the Chemist? He's not at the cash counter today!" 

The girl replied, "Sir, Mr. Gopalan had a splitting headache and said he was going across to your coffee shop. He said a cup of hot coffee would relieve him of his headache." 

The man's mouth went dry and he mumbled, "Oh! I see."

This is a typical case of looking outside ourselves for something that we have within us. 

How strange, but true!! !!!

The Chemist relieves his headache by drinking coffee and the coffee shop owner finds relief in a pain relieving pill! 

Similarly, many of us travel across the lengths and breadths of the universe and also visit several shrines and ashrams to find peace. 

Eventually, we come to realize that real peace is within our own hearts. 

Peace is really a state of mind.

BHAGAVAT GITA

 In Bagvad Gita lord Sri KRISHNA Says

Who is your life partner ?

Mom ?

Dad ? 

Wife ?

Son ?  

Husband ?

Daughter ?

Friends...?

Not at all !

Your real life partner is Your Body.

Once your body stops responding no one is with you.

You and your body stay together from Birth till Death. 

What you do to your body is your responsibility and that will come back to You. 

The more you care

for your body, the more your body will care for You. 

What you eat, What you do for being Fit, how you deal with stress, how much rest you give to it; will decide how your body gonna respond.

Remember your body is the only permanent address where You live.

Your body is your asset/liabilty, which no one else can share. Your body is your responsibility. Because, You are the real life partner. 

Be Fit forever. Take care yourself. Money comes & goes. Relatives & Friends are not permanent.

Remember no one can help your body other than you.

Pranayama - for Lungs

Meditation - for Mind

Yogasana - for Body

Walking - for Heart

Good food - for intestines

Good thoughts – for Soul

Good Karma - for World

NEVER BE IMPATIENT

My wife & me had an big argument and we were on "no talk" terms for the last three days...

Finally wife said .....

"Now ... I count till 10 .. if you don't talk to me ... I'll go to my parent's home...!"

She started counting ...

Wife - 1..2..3 ...

I - .. (silent) ... !!!

Wife - 4...5 ...

I - .... (quiet).

Wife -  6...7...

I  - (very happy .. but calm ..)

Climax building up...

Wife - 9....

I - (cheerful in mind ...)

Wife ........

(Quiet)

...

(Quiet)

.......

........

Then with controlled excitement I spurted out ....

"Count...count .. why don't you count further.... ??"

..

Wife - Thank God ... !!!

You spoke .... otherwise I would have left ... !!

From Autobiography - "Heavy Penalties of Impatience"

HUMANITY

Mr. Zavere Poonawala (Brother of Dr. Cyrus Poonawala) is a well-known industrialist in Pune. He had this driver named Ganga Datt with him for the last 30 years on his Limousin.

Ganga Datt passed away recently and at that time Mr. Poonawala was in Mumbai for some important work.  As soon as he heard the news, he cancelled all his meetings, & requested the driver's family to wait him for the cremation and came back to Pune immediately by a helicopter.

On reaching Pune, he asked the Limousin to be decorated with flowers, as he wished Ganga Datt should be taken in the same car which he himself had driven since the beginning. 

When Ganga Datt's family agreed to his wishes, he himself drove Ganga Datt from his home up to the ghat on his last journey.

When asked about it, Mr. Poonawala replied that Ganga Datt had served him day and night, and he could at least do this being eternally grateful to him.

He further added that Ganga Datt rose up from overty and educated both his children very well. His daughter is a Chartered accountant and that is so commendable.

His comment in the end, is the essence of a successful life in all aspects: Everybody earns money which is nothing unusual in that, but we should always be grateful to those people who contribute to our success. This is the belief, we have been brought up with, which made me do, what I did.

An inspiring example of humanity...🙏

PHYSICIANS LAWS

Roentgen’s law​: 

The length of a radiologist’s report is inversely proportional to the certainty of his diagnosis.

 Machiavelli’s law​:

A patient /relative who say in his first visit that he has full faith in you has already consulted at least three other doctors for his problem.

Cochrane’s Aphorism​:

Before ordering a test decide what you will do if it is 

a) Positive 

or 

b) Negative. 

If both answers are the same don’t do the test.

Indoor anachronism​: - 

Patients who need to be admitted the most always refuse to get admitted. Those who can be sent home want to stay on.

Saddam’s law​ in Medicine -  

The arrogance of a patient’s relative is inversely proportional to his ability and wilingness to pay hospital bill.

Murphy’s Law:-

If any thing can go wrong it will.

Gattuso’s extension of Murphy’s Law​:

Nothing is ever so bad that it can’t get worse.

Adam’s Law​:

Fractures used to heal even when there were no orthopaedic surgeons.

Placebo rules​:

Placebo’s work only if they are expensive.

Placebo’s sometimes work better than real drugs. 

A sympathetic physician is often the best placebo.

😃

MONKEY & LION

Once a monkey wished to die due to sadness, he pulled the ears of a sleeping lion....

The lion woke up and roared with anger: - Who did this..?  Who has called his death...?

Monkey :- I am Maharaj, I am very depressed due to lack of friends and I want to die, you eat me....

The lion asked with a laugh :- Did anyone see you while pulling my ears…?

Monkey :- No chief....

Lion :- Okay, pull two more times, it feels very good...

The essence of this story...

By living alone, even the king of the forest gets bored….

So stay in touch with your friends, keep pulling their ears, dragging, making fun, …

Don't be dull, keep on having fun....

Believe that your mind will always be cheerful and you will always be healthy.

LIVE IN PEACE, NOT IN PIECES

Martina Navratilova was once asked, “How do you maintain your focus, physique and sharp game even at the age of 43?" 

She gave a humble reply, “The ball doesn’t know how old I am”. You need to stop yourself from stopping yourself. 

Every game in life is actually played on a 6 inch ground – the space between your two ears.   

We don't live in bungalows, duplexes or flats. We live in our mind which is an unlimited area. Life is great when things are sorted and uncluttered there. Keeping the mind messy with hatred growing on the table, regrets piling up in corner, expectations boiling in kitchen, secrets stuffed under the carpet and worries littered everywhere ruins this real home. The key factor to performing well in life and in every arena, is the ability to control the quality and quantity of your “internal dialogue”. Performance is potential minus internal interference. 

Live in peace, not in pieces. 

Think About it!

Have a great weekend

NO DONKEY BUSINESS

Frank the farmer had a nagging wife who made his life miserable. The only real peace he got was when he was out in the field ploughing.

One day while in the field, Frank's wife brought him his lunch. Then while he quietly ate she berated him with a constant stream of nagging and complaining.

Suddenly, Frank's old donkey kicked up his back legs, struck her in the head killing her instantly.

At the funeral, the Priest noticed that when the women offered their sympathy, Frank would nod his head up and down..... But when the men came up and spoke quietly to him, he would shake his head from side to side.

After the mourners left, the Priest approached Frank and asked, "Why did you nod your head up and down to all the women.... But shook from side to side to all the men?"

"Well,' Frank replied, *'The women all said how nice she looked, and her dress was so pretty, so I agreed by nodding my head up and down.... But all the men asked, "Is that donkey for sale?"

THE SAMOSA VENDOR .....

 The Samosa Vendor......

At chennai... It was my regular train journey home from work.

I boarded the 18:50pm train from Chennai fort

When the train was about to leave chennai park, a samosa vendor with an empty basket got on and took the seat next to me.

As the compartment was sparsely occupied and my destination was still far away,

I got into a conversation with him.

Me: "Seems like you've sold all your samosas

today."

Vendor (smiling): "Yes. By Almighty's grace, full sales today."

Me: "I really feel sorry for you people. Don't you get tired doing this tiresome job the whole day?"

Vendor: "What to do, sir? Only by selling samosas like this every day do we get a commission of 1 rupee for each samosa

that we sell."

Me: "Oh, is that so ? How many samosas do you sell on an average each day?"

Vendor: "On peak week days, we sell 4,000 to

5,000 samosas per day. On an average, we sell about 3,000 samosas a day."

I was speechless.....for a few seconds.

The guy says he sells 3,000 samosas a day; at 1 rupee each,

He makes about 3,000 rupees daily, or 90,000

rupees a month.

That's Rs. 90,000 a month. OMG.

I intensified my questioning and this time it was not for time pass.

Me: "Do you make the samosas yourself?"

Vendor: "No Sir. we gets the samosas through a samosa manufacturer and we just sell them. After selling we give him the money

And he gives us 1 rupee for each samosa that we sell."

I was unable to speak a single word more but the vendor continued...

"But one thing...most of our earnings are spent on living expenses here at chennai.

Only with the remaining money are we able to

take care of other business."

Me: "Other business? What is that?"

Vendor: "It is a land business. In 2007 I bought 1.5 acres in red hills for 10 lakh rupees and I sold it a few months back for 80 lakhs.

Now I have bought land in ambattur for 40 lakh

rupees."

Me: "What did you do with the remaining amount?

Vendor: "Of the remaining amount, I have set aside 20 lakhs for my daughter's

wedding. I have deposited the other 20 lakhs in the bank, post office, mutual funds, gold and bought cash back insurance."

Me: "How much schooling have you had?"

Vendor: "I studied up to third standard; I stopped my studies when I was in the 4th

standard. But I know how to read and write.

Sir, there are many people like yourself, who dress well, wear a tie and suit, wear shoes,

Speak English fluently and work in air-conditioned rooms.

But I don't think you guys earn as much

As we do wearing dirty clothes and selling

samosas."

At this point, what could I reply. After all, I was

talking to a True Indian Millionaire! The train chugged into pallavaram station.

And the samosa vendor got up from his seat.

Vendor: "Sir, this is my station...have a good

day."

Me: "Take care."

Welcome to the real India !!!

The questions at the back of my mind

1  Does the manufacturer pays GST ? (There are more than happy 10 samosa vendors)

2) I am fool linking my adhar card, pan card, bank account etc and payment Income Tax by way of deduction at source, buying car on loan, house on loan, bike on loan, TVs with emi, apple phone with emi. 

My education has no value against these Samosa vendor/manufacturer....

SUICIDE

Earlier this year, a group of bikers were riding out when they saw a girl about to jump off the Humber Bridge . So they stopped.

George, their leader, a big burly man of 53, gets off his Harley, walks through a group of gawkers, past the Policeman who was trying to talk her down off the railing, and says, "Hey Baby.....whatcha doin' up there on that railin'?" She says tearfully, "I'm going to commit suicide!!"

While he didn't want to appear "sensitive," George also didn't want to miss this "be-a-legend" opportunity either so he asked ..."Well, before you jump, Honey-Babe...why don't you give ole George here your best last kiss?"

So, with no hesitation at all, she leaned back over the railing and did just that ... and it was a long, deep, lingering kiss followed immediately by another even better one.

After they breathlessly finished, George gets a big thumbs-up approval from his biker-buddies, the onlookers, and even the Policeman, and then says, "Wow! That was the best kiss I have ever had, Honey! That's a real talent you're wasting, Sugar Shorts. You could be famous if you rode with me. Why are you committing suicide?"

"My parents don't like me dressing up like a girl."

It's still unclear whether she jumped or was pushed...

THE CROW

Once a devotee asked Mahaswamigal, why do we keep food for crows during mahalayam? Are our ancestors taking forms of crows? Why do they come as this low bird? Why not a high standard bird?

With a gentle smile Mahaswamigal answered, we call crow kaka in Tamil.

Do we address any other creature by its sound? Do we call cat meow? Because a parrot says kiki, do we call it kiki? A crow is called by its sound that makes it special.

Ka means kaapathu or protect me. ..so when you keep food for a crow and say "kaa kaa", you are asking your ancestors to protect you!

You say a crow is lowly, because it is freely available and it eats anything!

.. .. But let me tell you "a crow is beautiful."

Why?

It wakes up at brahma muhurtham. ..it caws and wakes you up .....even cocks may not wake up on time many days as they are moody...but a crow is on time...it says "kaka" and wakes you up at brahma muhurtham apt to do japam. It is such an amazing guide for pooja no?

Further, it calls other crows when it gets food...not seen in other creatures, teaching humans to share their food. 

Then in the evening before it sleeps, it again says "kaka" to thank god for all that happened that day! 

Also crows don't eat after sunset which is according to shastras...how many people follow this?

Hence, I feel a crow is not lowly...it teaches us so much. Hence "pitrus come as crows."

And one more...

keep food for crows everyday not only during mahalayam.

Crow also teaches *Advaitam!* When a crow sees the food you have kept, it gets happy and eats it. Seeing it eat, you get happy too. So both of you get happy... *both of you are Bhagwan!*

 Why did our sages make us feed crows, if we have to give it to our ancestors?

*The sages had strategic consideration.*

This is the real reason.

Have you grown a peepal or banyan tree someday?

Have you seen anyone grow it?

Can you get seeds of peepal or banyan tree?

The answer is no.

Peepal or banyan tree will not grow out of sapling Because nature has made a separate arrangement for growing these two useful trees.

The seeds sprout only after they have been processed in the gastrointestinal tract of the crows.

These tree grow, wherever the crows eat it and wherever it does its excretion.

Peepal are the only tree in the world that releases oxygen round the clock and the medicinal qualities of Banyan is also immense.

If these two trees have to survive, it is not possible without the help of crows. It is in this period, crows do mating. To get healthy new generation of crows, they need to get healthy food. Hence our ancestors made a ritual to feed the crows.

Next time, you see peepal or banyan tree or a crow remember our intention of our ancestors.

 🙏

NEWS CHANNELS

Most of us are familiar with Akbar Birbal tales . This is more or less on same lines. 

"Don’t under estimate thieves, they are smart"

When a bunch of thieves steal a buffalo at night, first thing they do is remove bell from buffalo neck.

Then one of the thieves runs in west direction ringing the bell. Rest of them run eastward with the buffalo.

It’s dark so all the villagers run west behind the noise of the bell. After a while thief carrying bell throw the bell in jungle and runs away. Villagers find the bell and enter the jungle. 

At the other end of the village, thief runs away with buffalo.

Our buffalo: Food, Shelter , Education, Jobs , Healthcare , Infrastructures, Women safety and empowerment, Covid, Inflation, Economy, Development....

Buffalo Bell: SSR, Rhea, Kangana, Thackeray, Karan Johar, Taimur, Bollywood, Drugs, Sunanda Pushkar....

Thief: "News channels"

🤣🤣🤣

PAKISTAN GENERAL

The Pakistan Army recently found it had too many Generals, and offered them an early retirement with bonus in USD.

 They said any General who retired now, his payment $12,000 for every inch measured in a straight line between any two parts of his body.

 The Generals can select any of his body points. 

The first man, an Air marshal, asked to measure from his head to the tip of his toes. 

Six feet. 

He walked out with a cheque of $720,000!

The second man, an Naval admiral, asked to measure from the tip of his outstretched hands to his toes. 

Eight feet. 

He walked out with a cheque for $960,000!!* 

When the third general, a grizzled old Ranger, was asked where to measure.

 He said "From the tip of my penis to my testicles."*

The pension man suggested, that the grizzle Ranger should reconsider. As, the previous two Generals, who came before him had received, good money, because of their distance in body parts.

The grizzle Ranger still insisted.

 So, the pension man got a medical officer to do the measuring. 

The medical officer asked the Ranger to drop his pants. 

The medical officer placed the tape on the tip of the Ranger's penis and began to measure. 

"My God!" The medical officer said. "Where are your testicles?" 

The Ranger replied,

"In Kargil."

And thats how, Pakistan became Bankrupt.

AGE ACTIVATED ATTENTION DEFICIT DISORDER.

 What is A.A.A.D.D.  ? It is              

Age Activated Attention Deficit Disorder. 

This is how it manifests:

I decide to water my garden.

As I turn on the hose in the driveway,

I look over at my car and decide it needs washing. 

As I start toward the garage,

I notice mail on the porch table that

I brought up from the mail box earlier.

I decide to go through the mail before I wash the car. 

I lay my car keys on the table,

put the junk mail in the garbage can under the table,

and notice that the can is full. 

So, I decide to put the bills back

on the table and take out the garbage first.

But then I think,

since I'm going to be near the mailbox

when I take out the garbage anyway,

I may as well pay the bills first.

I take my check book off the table,

and see that there is only one check left.

My extra checks are in my desk in the study,

so I go inside the house to my desk where

I find the can of Coke I'd been drinking. 

I'm going to look for my checks,

but first I need to push the Coke aside

so that I don't accidentally knock it over.

The Coke is getting warm,

and I decide to put it in the refrigerator to keep it cold.

As I head toward the kitchen with the Coke,

a vase of flowers on the counter

catches my eye--they need water.

I put the Coke on the counter and

discover my reading glasses that

I've been searching for all morning.

I decide I better put them back on my desk,

but first I'm going to water the flowers.

I set the glasses back down on the counter,

fill a container with water and suddenly spot the TV remote.

Someone left it on the kitchen table.

I realize that tonight when we go to watch TV,

I'll be looking for the remote,

but I won't remember that it's on the kitchen table,

so I decide to put it back in the den where it belongs,

but first I'll water the flowers.

I pour some water in the flowers,

but quite a bit of it spills on the floor.

So, I set the remote back on the table,

get some towels and wipe up the spill.

Then, I head down the hall trying to

remember what I was planning to do. 

At the end of the day:

the car isn't washed

the bills aren't paid

there is a warm can of Coke sitting on the counter

the flowers don't have enough water,

there is still only 1 check in my check book,

I can't find the remote,

I can't find my glasses,

and I don't remember what I did with the car keys.

Then, when I try to figure out why nothing got done today,

I'm really baffled because I know I was busy all day,

and I'm really tired.

I realize this is a serious problem,

and I'll try to get some help for it,

but first I'll check my e-mail....

Do me a favor.

Forward this message to everyone you know,

because I don't remember who I've sent it to.

PSYCHIATRIST

A psychiatrist was conducting a  group therapy session with four young mothers and their small children.

'You all have obsessions,' he observed. 

 

To the first mother, Mary, he said, 'You are obsessed with eating. You've  even named your daughter Candy.' 

 

He turned to the second Mom, Ann: 'Your obsession is with money. Again, it manifests itself in your  child's name, Penny.' 

He turned to the third Mom, Kathy: 'Your  obsession is alcohol. This too shows itself in your child's name, Sherry.' 

 

At this point, the fourth mother, Joyce, quietly got up, took her little boy by the hand and whispered, 'Come on Dick, this guy has no idea what he's talking about. Lets pick up Willy from school and go home.'

PROFESSOR & STUDENT

Chintu failed in the final Law Exam & decided to make a deal with the Professor.

 

Chintu: Sir, Can I ask you one question?

Professor: Yes.

Chintu: If you can answer this question, I will accept my final marks, if you cant, you will have to give me an "A" grading.

 

Professor agreed.

 .

 .

 .

Chintu asked: "What is legal but not logical, logical but not legal & neither legal nor logical?"

Prof thought about it for hours & pondered but couldnt think of an  answer.

He had to finally give up as he really didnot know the answer.

He gave this boy an "A" grading as promised.

The following day, Professor asked same question to his students.

He was shocked when all of them raised their hands.

He asked one student.

He answered:

Sir, you are 65, married to a  28 yrs old woman, this is legal but not logical.

Your wife, is having an affair with a 23 year old boy, this is logical but not legal.

Your wife's boyfriend has failed in his exam & yet you have given him an "A", this is neither logical nor legal. 

 

 PROFESSOR BEHOSH... 

ARRESTED FOR LAUGHING.

 This is from an actual trial in the UK.

A young woman who was several months pregnant was sitting in a bus. When she noticed a young man smiling at her she began feeling humiliated on account of her condition.

She changed her seat & he seemed more amused. She moved again and then on seeing him laughing more.

She filed a court case on him. In the court the man's defense was:-

When the lady boarded the bus I couldn't help noticing she was pregnant. She sat under an advertisement, which read "Coming Soon - The unknown boon". 

I was even more amused when she then sat under a shaving advertisement,which read:- "William's stick did the trick". 

Then I could not control myself any longer, when on the third move she sat under an advertisement, which read: "Dunlop Rubber would have prevented this accident".

The case was dismissed.

The judge fell off his chair laughing.

‍‌‌‌‌‌‍‍‍‍‌

CATCHING WILD PIGS

 Karl Marx once said,

"Remove one freedom per generation, and soon you will have no freedoms and no one will have noticed."

One day while the class was in the lab, a professor noticed one young man,  kept rubbing his back and stretching as if his back hurt.

The professor asked the young man what was the matter. The student told him that he had a bullet lodged in his back. He had been shot while fighting communists in his native country, who were trying to overthrow his country's government and install a new communist regime.

Then, the student looked at the professor and asked a strange question,

"Do you know how to catch wild pigs?"

The professor thought it was a joke and asked for the punchline. The young man said that it was no joke. 

"You catch wild pigs by finding a suitable place in the woods and putting corn on the ground. The pigs find it and begin to come every day to eat the free food.

When they are used to coming every day, you put a fence down one side of the place where they are used to coming. At first, they are scared, but when they get used to the fence, they begin to eat the corn again and you put up another side of the fence.

They get used to that and start to eat again. You continue until you have all four sides of the fence up with a gate in the last side.

The pigs, which are used to the free corn, start to come through the gate to eat that free corn again. You then slam the gate on them and catch the whole herd.

Suddenly, the wild pigs have lost their freedom. They run around and around inside the fence, but they are caught. Soon they go back to eating the free corn. They are so used to it that they have forgotten how to forage in the woods for themselves, so they accept their captivity."

The young man then told the professor,

"That is exactly what he sees happening in many countries. The governments keep pushing us towards Communism/Socialism and keep spreading the free corn out in the form of programmes such as supplemental income, tax credit for unearned income, tax exemptions, tobacco subsidies, dairy subsidies, payments not to plant crops, welfare entitlements, medicine, drugs, etc., while we continually lose our freedoms, just a little at a time."

One should always remember two truths:

1. There is no such thing as a free lunch, and

2. You can never hire someone to provide a service for you cheaper than you can do it yourself.

If you see that all of this wonderful government 'help' is a problem confronting the future of democracy, there is hope.

If you think the free ride is essential to your way of life, then God help you when the gate slams shut!

"Most of the problems we face today are there because the people who work for a living are now outnumbered by those who vote for a living!

Ducks Quack, Eagles Soar

 *💑

I was waiting in line for a ride at the airport. When a cab pulled up, the first thing I noticed was that the taxi was polished to a bright shine. Smartly dressed in a white shirt, black tie, and freshly pressed black slacks, the cab driver jumped out and rounded the car to open the back passenger door for me.

He handed me a laminated card and said: 'I'm Wasu, your driver. While I'm loading your bags in the trunk I'd like you to read my mission statement.'

Taken aback, I read the card. It said: Wasu's Mission Statement:

To get my customers to their destination in the quickest, safest and cheapest way possible in a friendly environment.

This blew me away. Especially when I noticed that the inside of the cab matched the outside. Spotlessly clean!

As he slid behind the wheel, Wasu said, 'Would you like a cup of coffee? I have a thermos of regular and one of decaf.'

I said jokingly, 'No, I'd prefer a soft drink.'

Wasu smiled and said, 'No problem. I have a cooler up front with regular and Diet Coke, lassi, water and orange juice.'

Almost stuttering, I said, 'I'll take a Lassi.'

Handing me my drink, Wasu said, 'If you'd like something to read, I have The Hindu, Times  of India, ET and India Today.'

As they were pulling away, Wasu handed me another laminated card, 'These are the stations I get and the music they play, if you'd like to listen to the radio.'

And as if that weren't enough, Wasu told me that he had the air conditioning on and asked if the temperature was comfortable for him.

Then he advised me of the best route to my destination for that time of day. He also let me know that he'd be happy to chat and tell me about some of the sights or, if I preferred, to leave me with my own thoughts.

'Tell me, Wasu,' I was amazed and asked him, 'have you always served customers like this?'

Wasu smiled into the rear view mirror. _No, not always. In fact, it's only been in the last two years. My first five years driving, I  spent most of my time complaining like all the rest of the cabbies do_. *Then I heard about power of choice one day.'

'Power of choice is that you can be a duck or an eagle*.

'If you get up in the morning expecting to have a bad day, you'll rarely disappoint yourself. Stop complaining!' 

'Don't be a duck. Be an eagle. Ducks quack and complain. Eagles soar above the crowd.'

'That hit me right,' said Wasu. 

'It is about me. I was always quacking and complaining, so I decided to change my attitude and become an eagle. I looked around at the other cabs and their drivers. The cabs were dirty, the drivers were

unfriendly, and the customers were unhappy. So I decided to make some changes. I put in a few at a time. When my customers responded well, I did more.'

'I take it that has paid off for you,' I said.

'It sure has,' Wasu replied. 'My first year as an eagle, I doubled my income from the previous year. This year I'll probably quadruple it. My customers call me for appointments on my cell phone or leave a message on it.'

Wasu made a different choice. He decided to stop quacking like ducks and start soaring like eagles.

Have an eagle week..next week... And next...And.... 

A great Thought..

"You don't die if you fall in water, you die only if you don't swim.

Thats the "Real Meaning" of "Life"

A beautiful True Story

 

In England in 1920 there was a graduation ceremony for a batch of "new doctors".

It was attended by the British Prime Minister of that time.

During the ceremony, the dean who was in charge of that batch, gave the necessary advice to these new graduates.

He told them the following incident which happened with him sometimes back:

"It was after midnight, and I heard a knock on my door.

It was an old lady, and she said to me: 'O my doctor, my child is sick and in a very serious condition, so please do something to save him.

I rushed out to follow her to her house without worrying what will happen.

Because it was a stormy night, and very cold. The rain was pouring down very heavily. I did not fear for my life.

Her house was on the outskirts of London, and after a difficult journey, we reached her house.

She lived in a small room with her son. 

When I entered the room, I saw her son at the corner of this room groaning and deeply in pain.

After I did my duty towards the sick child, the mother gave me a small bag with money.

I refused to take this bag and I told her gently that I can't accept that payment, because I felt sorry for their situation. 

Then I promised her that I will take care of her child until he gets better."

The dean continued in his speech by saying: " This is the true profession of medicine, and being a doctor is the closest profession to mercy and one of the closest to God" 

As soon as the head doctor finished his speech, the Prime Minister jumped out of his seat and headed to the podium.

"Permit me Sir, to kiss your hand.

For twenty years now and I am looking for you. I am the child you mentioned in your story just now.

Oh, my mother will be happy now and she will rest in peace. Her only wish was for me to find you and to reward you, for that goodness you did for us at the time we were living in poverty"

That poor child who became the Prime Minister of England was:

"Lloyd George"

Plant goodness wherever you go, even if it is not on your place. Because it will never get lost wherever you will plant it.

It is even more nice if your goodness lasts longer.

Because no one shall harvest that goodness except the one who has planted it.

Doing goodness to others will always purify your heart, and it will fight any kind of evil which comes your way.

The owner of goodness does not fall, if he falls he will fall on a pillow to comfort and support him.

May God Make us  among the people who always do good to others. 

Aaloo Paratha

Superb Story

Raghu was worried that his wife was having an hearing problem and he thought she might need a  hearing aid.

Not quite sure how to approach her, he called the family Doctor to discuss the problem. 

The Doctor told him there is a simple informal test the husband could perform to give the Doctor a better idea about her hearing loss. 

"Here's what you do,"

said the Doctor,

"stand about 40 feet away from her, and in a normal conversational speaking tone see if she hears you.

If not, go to 30 feet,

then 20 feet,

and so on until you get a response.."

That evening,

his wife was in the kitchen cooking dinner,

and Raghu thought of testing the same. 

He says to himself,

"I'm about 40 feet away, let's see what happens.?"

Then in a normal tone he asks,

"Honey, what's for dinner?"

No response....

So he moves closer to the kitchen,

about 30 feet from his wife and repeats,

"Honey, what's for dinner?"

Still No response...

Next he moves to the dining room where he is about 20 feet from his Wife and asks,

"Honey, what's for dinner?"

Again he gets No response...

So, he walks up to the kitchen door,

about 10 feet away.

"Honey, what's for dinner?"

Again there is No response....

So he walks right up behind her,

"Honey, what's for dinner?"

(You'll Love this) 

"For God's sake Raghu,

its  the FIFTH time I am telling you,

its 'AALOO PARATHA'.!"